(Sent June 9 | Photos on Facebook)
If you want to serve a mission to become less awkward, you should change your purpose. Not only because your purpose should be to invite others to come unto Christ, but also because you only become more awkward on your mission.
Allow me to expound:
I went on exchanges with the sister training leaders this past week and I went with Sister Waters (who goes home in 3 weeks #cray). Anyway, We were knocking some doors on the street where our dinner appointment was. Knocked on a door, invited us back later #awesomeness. Walked to next door, saw the family feeding us for dinner pull into their garage and totally watch us while tracting. Knocked on the next door, no one answered and began to walk away but the garage door suddenly opened and a car pulled in. I was thinking, agh...do we run now? Or just suffer the awkwardness? Well, we said a prayer with her so it was #worthit. Saw a house across the street with a car in the driveway, so we decided to knock on that door. I began walking across the street on the pavement andddddd the garage door opens and people quickly walk to their car and drive away. So to avoid awkwardness (unsuccessfully) I continue to walk on the pavement and act as if I wasn't just going to knock on their door.
So that was a jumble of awkwardness. I mainly wrote about that because I invited (just like missionaries do) Sister Waters to read my blog when she goes home and she asked me if she was going to be in it. So #shoutout to Sister Waters! (I'll be looking forward to some particular mail from you concerning your next covenant in life, wink wink.)
Anyway, the biggest experience I had this week answered so many questions I've had for like all my life. Maybe not all my life, but pretty close. I'm only 19.
So remember last week how I was invited to attend a spiritual class at someone's home? Well, Sister Billings and I decided to attend! We walk in and *phwoom* - no Spirit. I lost the Spirit in that living room. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable. I really don't know how to describe it. Like I felt light drain out of me. I didn't know why because I hadn't even seen nor met anyone in the class yet! I sat down and said a prayer in my heart to rid of this weird feeling.
It seemed to be that they worshiped two particular "messengers of God". Yet they accepted Joseph Smith to also be a "messenger" of God. Not sure how the two connected. I, then, asked what they believed the difference between a messenger and a prophet is. They couldn't answer it because everyone had different opinions. They ultimately agreed on the consensus that the difference is whatever you're comfortable with.
I continued to ask more questions but I couldn't form questions. I didn't have any thoughts come to me as they usually do when I teach and testify. I realized at that moment that all of my spiritual learning throughout my life was only made possible through the Spirit. Without the Spirit, I couldn't teach! I couldn't testify!
As we came to an end in the class, I concluded that their faith had no foundation, no organization, and no unity. But God's Church would be built on the foundation of Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:20). God is a God of order (D&C 132:8) so of course His Church would be organized. There is unity in His Church throughout the world! You have friends everywhere (Ephesians 2:19). So was this even religion? Religion, meaning "to tie back to" God in Latin. Was their foundation in God?
I had a headache during the class and it got worse as we continued on. So after we left, that weird, uncomfortable feeling was gone and I felt almost...relieved. Turns out, Sister Billings had a headache, too! Crazy!
All in all, it was a crazy experience but it helped me recognize how the Spirit speaks to me individually. I missed having the Spirit with me.
So, please keep the Spirit with you. I take it for granted a lot but after that, I'll definitely appreciate it a lot more!