Welp, this is it. I've discovered something that may or may not prove to be the silver bullet for a missionary returning home. Maybe it works just for me, but it's definitely something's that helped me. Throughout life, we do things we do not necessarily want to do. I've struggled to align my will with God's will my entire mission and I know it will still be a struggle through the remainder of my life. But, when I actually do the will of the Father, I always end up happier and things always work out. When I do not, I find myself feeling like I'm stuck and can't move forward. And going home? That is the will of the Father. If it is the will of the Father, then why should I fight it? Why should I be sad when He meant for this to be a joyous occasion to celebrate the hard, consecrated work I performed in these past 18 months?
We spend eighteen months to two years of our lives to teach others by the Spirit of God that they need to change their lives to be closer to Christ. Well, this is yet another change. If we expect others to change their lives according to the will of the Lord, then we should expect ourselves to do the same. No moping about and wallowing in tears. Going home from my mission is just another step in eternal progression. It will prove to be a test, but I know that the real measure of my mission is where I am ten years from now. Will I still be the disciple of Christ I am today?
God does not set anyone up for failure. If we fail, it is because of our own choices. My earthly father once told me many years ago that failure is the mother of success. Appalled, I asked him, "Why would you imply that your wife is a failure?" (Yeah I was pretty sassy as a kid, too). But when we fall short, we make those choices to bring us back up. When I do God's will, I am a success. You will find success nowhere else but in the will of the Lord.
I have learned many things on my mission. These are sacred things that I know I can never leave behind. I will take them and I will apply them to my life every day. THAT is what my mission was for.
This morning in my personal study, I came across a scripture that epitomizes how I feel in nearing the death of my full-time missionary service:
"And I saw that I must soon go down to my grave, having been wrought upon by the power of God that I must preach and prophesy unto this people, and declare the word according to the truth which is in Christ. And I have declared it in all my days, and have rejoiced in it above that of the world" (Enos 1:26).
How great is my calling!